Jessica Hates Jump Ropes

If you read NOTHING else of this post, please note I will be attending a Rated R Spin Class tonight . I cannot wait to find what attributes contribute to Rated R status, but I am preparing for disappointment.  I've imagined at least five ways the Rated R Spin Class could be amazingly weird, but I am pretty sure it's just explicit lyrics on the videos. I am SO HOPING that's not the case and I am SO EXCITED to Spin Rated R Style. Wait. A. Minute. Did I just say I was excited to exercise?  It must be this dang zen mood that a week of Yoga has imprinted on me. Seriously. Life isn't getting any easier, but I am feeling 17% more Zen about things. This week I tackled a Vinyasa Flow class, visited again with my favorite instructor for another Yin class, and tried out Yoga at home with the kiddo. Vinyasa Flow Many times, I walk into a studio and I think business. Are they building a sustainable studio? Do I think they have a good handle on finances? What could they change...

This has officially been the worst month all year, and it just started! Let's call it the worst rolling month. In drought stricken California, it's raining in my neck of the woods. My father passed away two weeks ago. Although it's a complicated situation and a long time coming, his passing still invokes a myriad of painful emotions. Prior to his passing, I was sick. I recovered. I got sick with strep this week in Des Moines. Not that travel to Des Moines was awful; it was fun. However, when you already have all the above going on, it is an uncomfortable blur punctuated by a fever and chills. Last night, my poor little Lula, my six year old Chihuahua started having severely labored breathing. I already knew she is experiencing heart disease, which is common in her breed, but I was assured that it was just fine with medications. Last night it wasn't. I couldn't find an emergency hospital that I trusted. Instead, I waited and stayed up until this morning and made ...

Ha! You probably think I gave up the quest. I didn't. I've been living out of a suitcase in Des Moines, Iowa all week talking insurance and product management. I know, it totally sounds like such a glamorous life, and believe me... it's as glamorous as it sounds. I couldn't use ClassPass in Des Moines, and I was pretty much busy with my "emotionally expensive" team all week, so I had no time to find another class. On Saturday before I left, I jumped in a pool and swam laps for 20 minutes, so I will add this to my first week, and pretend this week never happened, OK? In some ways I do really wish this week didn't happen, because not only did I take back the frizziest of hair (Des Moines has some serious humidity!) but I took back a weird strain of strep throat. I woke up on the day of my flight and felt like I had been hit by a truck. My product gurus probably thought I had partied too hard with my out of control hair, my pasty skin and empty gaze, but ...

Warning: Before I get all cynical, I want to tell you, dear reader, that this class is actually a very sweet notion. While I live in a sarcastic Seinfeld-built bubble where I create random names for strangers like Studio Mickey and argue about meaningless detail,  it's nice to know that some people don't live in that world.  In this world, there's still a group of people that get dressed up, grease up the hair, and go to a East Coast Swing Class.  In this world, there's still a subset of these people  looking to meet another non-jaded soul that still believes in the hope that one can show up to a dance, spin a girl around, and get the girl. It's so pure. But not when you're expecting a fitness class, and not when you haven't showered after Battle Ropes, and not when Class Pass didn't indicate that this was a date or pick-up (albeit awkward pick-up) activity where you should where red lipstick and roll your hair.  I should have known. Drop in Swing o...

Stardate:  August 28th 2015 At 11:30 am today,  I popped into a class that I'll probably regret tomorrow. I'll also regret that I have signed up for a 2nd class tonight that I cannot back out of due to said pending regret. Class Pass is no joke, folks. If you cancel less than 12 hours, you pay $15. It's a HUGE motivator  to continue on freaky fitness Friday. Also, I have NEVER worked out twice in one day. This might be my last entry. "Captain, I just don't have. the. power." Bad Star Trek humor aside, Battle Ropes is an intense 30 minute total body workout using those torture devices you see on Biggest Loser. You've never seen Biggest Loser, you say? Only watch PBS you say? Liar. You know what I'm talking about. This is what I THOUGHT I looked like: This is what I REALLY looked like: Squirrel obsession aside, this is the first time I felt completely uncomfortable at a studio. I walked in and two lovely ladies and a buffed bro were sit...

I'm not working out tonight, as I will spend the evening pretending to be my daughter and walking the halls of her new Middle School during her Open House. We walked her classes  on Welcome day, and my own Middle School experience haunted me. I hope I have equipped her with more confidence than I had. I hope I have equipped her with more of an ability to forgive herself and accept mistakes. Middle School was when I decided that I was not an athlete. I wish I could have decided something different. I decided to go out for track when I was in seventh grade. I thought it would be good to learn a sport as I had no specific sport skill at this point. Track would surely help me find my calling. Since I had no running desire or ability, which should have stopped me there, the track coaches decided to try me out on various side events- the long jump, the high jump, and shot put. The long jump was an uneventful bust. I just could not jump. The shot put had some promise, but the ultimate...

Today was a difficult day. Not difficult in the way that someone parked over the line or Starbucks ran out of lime wedges for their Cool Lime Refreshers, but the real difficult. We had expected this day to come, but still emotions surprise you no matter how much you plan. That being said, I didn't even begin to build a case for myself against trying out Yin Yoga today. Not one mental excuse. I surprised myself on this one. The truth is, no matter the difficulty level of the day, exercise, especially yoga, is always good for you.  Yin Yoga is different from Vinyasa Yoga in the idea that you hold the poses for an extremely long time. It's not fluid the way typical yoga is, but rather it has a meditative slow quality. I had read about this and was already intrigued before this fitness experiment because I have been toying around with meditation since I read 10% Happier by Dan Harris. (READ IT) The instructor was amazing from the start. She welcomed everyone; she didn't c...