Fitness Freak Friday: Class #1 - Battle Ropes, Studio Mice, Imaginary Partners and Sawed Off Parking Meters
Stardate: August 28th 2015
At 11:30 am today, I popped into a class that I'll probably regret tomorrow. I'll also regret that I have signed up for a 2nd class tonight that I cannot back out of due to said pending regret. Class Pass is no joke, folks. If you cancel less than 12 hours, you pay $15. It's a HUGE motivator to continue on freaky fitness Friday. Also, I have NEVER worked out twice in one day. This might be my last entry. "Captain, I just don't have. the. power."
Bad Star Trek humor aside, Battle Ropes is an intense 30 minute total body workout using those torture devices you see on Biggest Loser. You've never seen Biggest Loser, you say? Only watch PBS you say? Liar. You know what I'm talking about.
This is what I THOUGHT I looked like:
This is what I REALLY looked like:
Squirrel obsession aside, this is the first time I felt completely uncomfortable at a studio. I walked in and two lovely ladies and a buffed bro were sitting behind the counter having an obviously intimate conversation. They logged me in and continued the conversation asking Studio Mickey (explanation to follow) about his ex, to which he responded "Class Pass is standing there. Don't talk about my personal details." Wait who's Class Pass, me? Oh my gosh- you called me Class Pass? Is that rude? Should I be offended? I was mildly annoyed, but this again, is due to exerternal issues...the biggest issue bothering me at that moment was that to get to this gym where the mocked my use of payment, I had to park at a spot that clearly had a parking meter once that was was now sawed off. What do you do with that? I texted my sister anxiously to ask her if I'd get a ticket for parking in a sawed off parking meter spot. She said no, and since her word is more straight up than a steel rod, I went ran to my Battle Ropes class and got mocked as "Class Pass."
So I made up "Studio Mice" in my head for those three new friends. They were all pretty people and they had a pretty little studio, so I could not call them gym rats. Unfortunately, Studio Mice evolved into buffed bro being named "Studio Mickey" in my brain, so even when he said his name, I totally forgot. But to be fair, he called me Class Pass! Studio Mickey seemed to be frustrated to leave his lovely ladies to teach a sad four person class (with one member being Mickey himself) but hey, duty calls, Studio Mickey. He paired up with another lovely lady he knew and gave the two newbies partner duties.
We started flinging the rope. And by flinging the rope, I mean furiously sweating while causing ripples. "I want you to cause waves." Umm... ok Studio Mickey. On it. The partners take turns doing stuff.... so here's an example of the stuff to which I am referring: I make giant waves (mediocre ripples) with the weighted rope while my partner does burpees. She has to do eight, then we get to switch. Then we move down each round, seven burpees, six burpees, etc.... All while partner is making waves. Picture this, I am sweating making these waves, and my partner is doing burpees, and she just NEVER finishes. Partner? What the hell? I'm DYING! Finally he tells her to step up and take the ropes, I do my burpees (fast and horrible, just like I like it) and I'm back on the ropes. And she TOTALLY quits. But I can't freaking stop until she does seven burpees. So finally, I just start making up a pretend partner and count my new imaginary friend's burpees, and switch back in forth with Imaginary Friend until Tired Girl works back in. I couldn't believe it. I was outlasting someone in this crazy class.
And let me tell you, this crap is HARD. I feel like my insides are going to burn out, and Studio Mickey is sweating like me, and I think... I think.... Studio Mickey might have gained a little respect for Class Pass. I made it through the 30 minutes of hell without one complaint. When he finished, he tossed his ropes and stepped out like a rock star, or like a fit Kramer: "I'm OUT!" I walked out behind him, as I opened the door and left with my heart pounding and my legs and arms shaking he yelled "Good job today, Class Pass."
PS: Is it worse to be called Class Pass or Groupon? I hope someday the Class Pass people will be looked upon as equals.
Verdict: No F'ing way. Well maybe. It was kind of fun and funny. And only 30 minutes. We'll see.
At 11:30 am today, I popped into a class that I'll probably regret tomorrow. I'll also regret that I have signed up for a 2nd class tonight that I cannot back out of due to said pending regret. Class Pass is no joke, folks. If you cancel less than 12 hours, you pay $15. It's a HUGE motivator to continue on freaky fitness Friday. Also, I have NEVER worked out twice in one day. This might be my last entry. "Captain, I just don't have. the. power."
Bad Star Trek humor aside, Battle Ropes is an intense 30 minute total body workout using those torture devices you see on Biggest Loser. You've never seen Biggest Loser, you say? Only watch PBS you say? Liar. You know what I'm talking about.
This is what I THOUGHT I looked like:
This is what I REALLY looked like:
Squirrel obsession aside, this is the first time I felt completely uncomfortable at a studio. I walked in and two lovely ladies and a buffed bro were sitting behind the counter having an obviously intimate conversation. They logged me in and continued the conversation asking Studio Mickey (explanation to follow) about his ex, to which he responded "Class Pass is standing there. Don't talk about my personal details." Wait who's Class Pass, me? Oh my gosh- you called me Class Pass? Is that rude? Should I be offended? I was mildly annoyed, but this again, is due to exerternal issues...the biggest issue bothering me at that moment was that to get to this gym where the mocked my use of payment, I had to park at a spot that clearly had a parking meter once that was was now sawed off. What do you do with that? I texted my sister anxiously to ask her if I'd get a ticket for parking in a sawed off parking meter spot. She said no, and since her word is more straight up than a steel rod, I went ran to my Battle Ropes class and got mocked as "Class Pass."
So I made up "Studio Mice" in my head for those three new friends. They were all pretty people and they had a pretty little studio, so I could not call them gym rats. Unfortunately, Studio Mice evolved into buffed bro being named "Studio Mickey" in my brain, so even when he said his name, I totally forgot. But to be fair, he called me Class Pass! Studio Mickey seemed to be frustrated to leave his lovely ladies to teach a sad four person class (with one member being Mickey himself) but hey, duty calls, Studio Mickey. He paired up with another lovely lady he knew and gave the two newbies partner duties.
We started flinging the rope. And by flinging the rope, I mean furiously sweating while causing ripples. "I want you to cause waves." Umm... ok Studio Mickey. On it. The partners take turns doing stuff.... so here's an example of the stuff to which I am referring: I make giant waves (mediocre ripples) with the weighted rope while my partner does burpees. She has to do eight, then we get to switch. Then we move down each round, seven burpees, six burpees, etc.... All while partner is making waves. Picture this, I am sweating making these waves, and my partner is doing burpees, and she just NEVER finishes. Partner? What the hell? I'm DYING! Finally he tells her to step up and take the ropes, I do my burpees (fast and horrible, just like I like it) and I'm back on the ropes. And she TOTALLY quits. But I can't freaking stop until she does seven burpees. So finally, I just start making up a pretend partner and count my new imaginary friend's burpees, and switch back in forth with Imaginary Friend until Tired Girl works back in. I couldn't believe it. I was outlasting someone in this crazy class.
And let me tell you, this crap is HARD. I feel like my insides are going to burn out, and Studio Mickey is sweating like me, and I think... I think.... Studio Mickey might have gained a little respect for Class Pass. I made it through the 30 minutes of hell without one complaint. When he finished, he tossed his ropes and stepped out like a rock star, or like a fit Kramer: "I'm OUT!" I walked out behind him, as I opened the door and left with my heart pounding and my legs and arms shaking he yelled "Good job today, Class Pass."
PS: Is it worse to be called Class Pass or Groupon? I hope someday the Class Pass people will be looked upon as equals.
Verdict: No F'ing way. Well maybe. It was kind of fun and funny. And only 30 minutes. We'll see.
I ooze sarcasm....might be why I'm LOVING reading your posts! But did he really say "Good job today, Class Pass." Did he really? Because he would so deserve being called Studio Mickey. Which I think your names for them are brilliant, by the way. ;o)
ReplyDeleteThank you! Yes.. I lean toward the sarcastic. And yes, Studio Mickey really said that.... since I am doing the whole blog thing, I was excited to hear it. AHHH..... so much content!
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