This is difficult. I can't say it.... ok.... here goes. Honestly, jump rope, I really dislike you. I haven't ever loved you. I might have pretended I did, but I was lying. I stare at others in awe at the gym.... how they must love you. They glisten with the sweat and pride of an intense HIIT workout, using you to your maximum potential, watching themselves in the mirror with you. Holding you, knowing you, effortless. When I touch you, it doesn't feel right. You have a certain "too good for me" type of attitude, and guess what.... you're right. My body doesn't like you. My heart doesn't want you. I don't want to say this because it's so cliche, but it's not you, it's me. I'm breaking up with you today.... you and all your smug friends. I just need some time to figure things out. I need to do me. And that means definitely not doing you.
Breaking up with Gym
I was making YET ANOTHER long drive down the 99, when I flipped over to the Freakanomics Podcast, where I excitedly listened to this podcast on the most efficient exercise. My initial thought was "Hot Damn, they're going to tell me that if I do something crazy intense for five minutes, it's like the secret to forgoing a 30 minuted workout... here we go." Immediately, the designated Freakonomics experts tell me "You're asking the wrong question here." Boo. This is going to be a useless Podcast. But wait! There was an entirely great nugget in this podcast that I almost missed. The best exercise is the one you love because you'll do it all the time and want to get better.
We all intuitively know this, but I think we fight this notion every step of the way. So I thought about it.... and thought about it .... What exercise do I love? NONE. I tolerate weight lifting. I sometimes even get happy that I did it. But I don't love it. I don't love spin, I don't love Zumba (although in Seattle I found some great lunchtime fun with my friends, I loved my friends, not the Zumba.) I don't love swimming other than for funzies. I HATE running. I don't love team sports, and I get bored with anything cardio. I could just go on and on.... but the truth is, I hate jump rope and all it's relatives.
So what things do I love and want to grow in knowing? I love my kid! So much in fact, I work on being a better parent (almost) all of the time. I love my career. As such, I make it work consistently and enjoy it. That's a great thing, because I also love the money I earn to live my lifestyle. I adore reading... and I admittedly enjoy great television. I'm ok with saying that. I am never going to be this "I only watch PBS" type of person. I don't think you can actually get better at watching TV, but I've put in a lot of practice. And you know what? I am better at it than 10 years ago. I know exactly what I love on the tube, and I don't waste time with anything else.
I love baking and cooking. I always make time for that (prompting an increased need for workouts!) I LOVE my dogs.I have had an eye for travel, and now we're putting money and effort behind it, so I love that as well.
As you can see, I have a full range of enjoyments, and I am quite accomplished where I put my energy, but nowhere is there an "I love Yoga!" statement, or "I love Boxing!" exclamation. Part of it has to be that I really don't know what I love in this area, and part of it is my life-long attitude towards working out.
I have someone in my life who loves soccer. He plays it and coaches it as much as he can. I am jealous of him. I know someone who blogs about the joys of Cross-Fit. I want this passion for myself. (Not Cross Fit, per se, but the passion) Guys at my work look forward to basketball every week. I want something like that! Did I ever have something like that?
A Short History of My Workout Life
This is me today.... I'm "alright." My numbers are in acceptable range; everything is good. I could lose a few +, but I don't care all that much, and I am pretty satisfied with the look and feel of my body, but I've been a lot heavier and I realize it takes work to maintain a certain comfort level.
I've had random workouts in my life on an almost regular basis since I was 21. I mostly find a gym to work out at, and I generally can make it to the gym three days a week. I always plan for five, but I talk myself out of it 30-50% of the time. I'm very good at finding reasons not to do it. Because I don't have passion for it, so why should I?
I wasn't always this way.... I really wanted to find my physical calling. I was born with poorly formed hip sockets. As such, I had to learn to swim at an early age. As the story goes, I was good at it, but it was more of a requirement for therapy, so it did it's job, and I was done. I don't think I had much decision making ability back in those days. Don't worry, I walk just fine now and I make decisions everyday for a living. Fast forward to today- I like to swim, but do not like laps. I get sooooo bored. So bored. I like to playing the water, but I also hate the suit/swim cap or green hair combo and I hate chlorine eyes or goggles. It's probably not going to be my go-to.
First Love: I learned dance... ballet, tap and jazz for a few years as a kid. I really wanted to dance. However, I started so late, while I loved it, it was terrible for my sports self esteem. I was a 4th grader dancing with toddlers. And I wasn't a petite 4th grader, nor was I graceful. My crowning achievement was being a fully costumed fat rat at the local Nutcracker. I still loved it, but realized it was going nowhere. This adventure shows that I can have passion for things, also why I might lose enthusiasm or be apprehensive.
High School Sweetheart: Some readers will know that I played tennis in high school. I LOVED tennis because it got me out of PE. But, over time, I really liked popping the ball over the net. However, the coach always called me out for running enough, volleying too much, and just overall mediocre-ness in a community full of private lessoned sun kissed high school girls. I just was always kind of almost good; but not good enough. But here's a slight nugget of hope.... I played on my own with friends. We'd play for hours. HOURS. I'd play against the wall.
Girlhood Crush: Trampoline. I loved it. Loved it. Loved it. I could jump on a trampoline for hours. I go with my daughter now, and can last about 15 minuted before my body revolts.
Short Flings: Half Marathon and Dodgeball. Did both. Enjoyed Dodgeball; hated Half Marathon.... but hey I did it right? So you can see that I am not some couch monster, I will do stuff, but my heart is NEVER in it. Here's a comprehensive list of other things I've tried:
Zumba, Paddleboard, Yoga, Kickboxing, Half Marathon, Weight Lifting, Spinning, Step Aerobics, Various stretch and tone workouts, home workouts, Pilates, Circus Acrobatic Stuff, 5K with dogs, 5K with obstacles, Classes, Boot Camp, Medicine Ball Workouts, Various Martial Arts, Rodeo (ask me later) Trainers...Wow! I am a workout slut. Going all around town, and getting no real lasting enjoyment out of any of it. Its time to for me to stop cattin around with fitness fads and find my forever fitness love, it's just time.
My Plan
I have major accountability in this.... in fact, 100% accountability because it's my freakin life. How do I fix this? First I have to explore again with an open mind and serious thought about what I am doing. I am going to do 20 classes in 30 days, without repeating one. It's like Tinder for exercise. I'm using a tool called ClassPass, which I will explain in detail later. I will throw each class into the following three categories.
PS: The other bonus with this plan is that I get to do something that freaks me out almost every day. There are few things that are more uncomfortable than starting a new fitness class. I'll leave you with this nugget that sums up my fears effortlessly:
Breaking up with Gym
I was making YET ANOTHER long drive down the 99, when I flipped over to the Freakanomics Podcast, where I excitedly listened to this podcast on the most efficient exercise. My initial thought was "Hot Damn, they're going to tell me that if I do something crazy intense for five minutes, it's like the secret to forgoing a 30 minuted workout... here we go." Immediately, the designated Freakonomics experts tell me "You're asking the wrong question here." Boo. This is going to be a useless Podcast. But wait! There was an entirely great nugget in this podcast that I almost missed. The best exercise is the one you love because you'll do it all the time and want to get better.
We all intuitively know this, but I think we fight this notion every step of the way. So I thought about it.... and thought about it .... What exercise do I love? NONE. I tolerate weight lifting. I sometimes even get happy that I did it. But I don't love it. I don't love spin, I don't love Zumba (although in Seattle I found some great lunchtime fun with my friends, I loved my friends, not the Zumba.) I don't love swimming other than for funzies. I HATE running. I don't love team sports, and I get bored with anything cardio. I could just go on and on.... but the truth is, I hate jump rope and all it's relatives.
So what things do I love and want to grow in knowing? I love my kid! So much in fact, I work on being a better parent (almost) all of the time. I love my career. As such, I make it work consistently and enjoy it. That's a great thing, because I also love the money I earn to live my lifestyle. I adore reading... and I admittedly enjoy great television. I'm ok with saying that. I am never going to be this "I only watch PBS" type of person. I don't think you can actually get better at watching TV, but I've put in a lot of practice. And you know what? I am better at it than 10 years ago. I know exactly what I love on the tube, and I don't waste time with anything else.
I love baking and cooking. I always make time for that (prompting an increased need for workouts!) I LOVE my dogs.I have had an eye for travel, and now we're putting money and effort behind it, so I love that as well.
As you can see, I have a full range of enjoyments, and I am quite accomplished where I put my energy, but nowhere is there an "I love Yoga!" statement, or "I love Boxing!" exclamation. Part of it has to be that I really don't know what I love in this area, and part of it is my life-long attitude towards working out.
I have someone in my life who loves soccer. He plays it and coaches it as much as he can. I am jealous of him. I know someone who blogs about the joys of Cross-Fit. I want this passion for myself. (Not Cross Fit, per se, but the passion) Guys at my work look forward to basketball every week. I want something like that! Did I ever have something like that?
A Short History of My Workout Life
This is me today.... I'm "alright." My numbers are in acceptable range; everything is good. I could lose a few +, but I don't care all that much, and I am pretty satisfied with the look and feel of my body, but I've been a lot heavier and I realize it takes work to maintain a certain comfort level.
I've had random workouts in my life on an almost regular basis since I was 21. I mostly find a gym to work out at, and I generally can make it to the gym three days a week. I always plan for five, but I talk myself out of it 30-50% of the time. I'm very good at finding reasons not to do it. Because I don't have passion for it, so why should I?
I wasn't always this way.... I really wanted to find my physical calling. I was born with poorly formed hip sockets. As such, I had to learn to swim at an early age. As the story goes, I was good at it, but it was more of a requirement for therapy, so it did it's job, and I was done. I don't think I had much decision making ability back in those days. Don't worry, I walk just fine now and I make decisions everyday for a living. Fast forward to today- I like to swim, but do not like laps. I get sooooo bored. So bored. I like to playing the water, but I also hate the suit/swim cap or green hair combo and I hate chlorine eyes or goggles. It's probably not going to be my go-to.
First Love: I learned dance... ballet, tap and jazz for a few years as a kid. I really wanted to dance. However, I started so late, while I loved it, it was terrible for my sports self esteem. I was a 4th grader dancing with toddlers. And I wasn't a petite 4th grader, nor was I graceful. My crowning achievement was being a fully costumed fat rat at the local Nutcracker. I still loved it, but realized it was going nowhere. This adventure shows that I can have passion for things, also why I might lose enthusiasm or be apprehensive.
High School Sweetheart: Some readers will know that I played tennis in high school. I LOVED tennis because it got me out of PE. But, over time, I really liked popping the ball over the net. However, the coach always called me out for running enough, volleying too much, and just overall mediocre-ness in a community full of private lessoned sun kissed high school girls. I just was always kind of almost good; but not good enough. But here's a slight nugget of hope.... I played on my own with friends. We'd play for hours. HOURS. I'd play against the wall.
Girlhood Crush: Trampoline. I loved it. Loved it. Loved it. I could jump on a trampoline for hours. I go with my daughter now, and can last about 15 minuted before my body revolts.
Short Flings: Half Marathon and Dodgeball. Did both. Enjoyed Dodgeball; hated Half Marathon.... but hey I did it right? So you can see that I am not some couch monster, I will do stuff, but my heart is NEVER in it. Here's a comprehensive list of other things I've tried:
Zumba, Paddleboard, Yoga, Kickboxing, Half Marathon, Weight Lifting, Spinning, Step Aerobics, Various stretch and tone workouts, home workouts, Pilates, Circus Acrobatic Stuff, 5K with dogs, 5K with obstacles, Classes, Boot Camp, Medicine Ball Workouts, Various Martial Arts, Rodeo (ask me later) Trainers...Wow! I am a workout slut. Going all around town, and getting no real lasting enjoyment out of any of it. Its time to for me to stop cattin around with fitness fads and find my forever fitness love, it's just time.
My Plan
I have major accountability in this.... in fact, 100% accountability because it's my freakin life. How do I fix this? First I have to explore again with an open mind and serious thought about what I am doing. I am going to do 20 classes in 30 days, without repeating one. It's like Tinder for exercise. I'm using a tool called ClassPass, which I will explain in detail later. I will throw each class into the following three categories.
- No F'ing way... never again
- Might have felt a spark
- Caught my attention
PS: The other bonus with this plan is that I get to do something that freaks me out almost every day. There are few things that are more uncomfortable than starting a new fitness class. I'll leave you with this nugget that sums up my fears effortlessly:
Good for you for being honest. I'm a couch potato. My mind wants to do all kinds of stuff but my body says it's more relaxing to just hang out. I applaud you for this adventure. Truly.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I think I've been really dishonest to myself for a long time about how much work I put into physical things, and how willing I am to go out of my comfort zone. Aging and watching my dad suffer until his death with complications from diabetes has made me try to change my mind set, but even with all the knowing what could happen if we don't, it's more than challenging to alter thoughts and patterns. Without outing myself on this blog, I would have quit, I am sure of it.
DeleteI got put on diabetes meds recently. Dr said I was pre-diabetic. No such thing. I'm fat. I'm outed. gah. You spur me to move.
ReplyDelete