Skip to main content

"Looking in the Mirror for an Hour" Or "Are There Muscles Under Muscles?"

Have you ever looked at one object too long or said a word too many times in a row? Does it start to distort after awhile? Say "parallel" ten times. Does it start to sound weird? Like syllables, then letters, then sounds running into sounds like a unwieldy chain reaction?

I'm probably getting too deep here, but the most disturbing thing about my hour long barre class was looking at myself close up in the mirror for an hour without anyone blocking the view. In fact, the primary job of a new Barre practitioner (other than overextending and feeling foolish and old) is to stare at oneself and critique form.

Image result for mirror meme
To be clear, this wasn't Barre per se, but an exercise program that has been trademarked and franchised much like Jazzercise in the 80's or whatever there was before Jazzercise. The Dailey Method boasts:

"The Dailey Method combines ballet barre work, core conditioning, and muscle strengthening through yoga, pilates, and orthopedic exercise. Unlike other group classes, The Dailey Method ignites awareness through hands-on training and education. Our intrinsic focus on alignment and strength results in better posture, better movement, and a better you"

Ballet and a better me? Yes please! I was expecting a ton of plies and I thought that I might like it as it might get me in touch with my little ballerina. The ballerina that never was. The ballerina in a shot-putter's body. The ballerina hidden in the fat rat costume. Sigh. Ready for a better me!

Overall, this is not a plie class AT ALL. They play contemporary music (that was just ok, kind of hokey.) You workout in a small room with a ballet bar and all the equipment you need (which is nice bonus.)  You and 10-15 other women do the toughest body weight exercises you can imagine in front of a mirror.

I was admittedly distracted. I had a headache and a million things on my mind. I thought the rug was ugly. I focused too much on $10 nubby socks I had to buy (you don't need nubbies because of the ugly carpet. I got suckered, but they say DON'T TUCK on the sole, so it's cool.)

Trying to shrug off my personal issues, I turned and faced the mirror. After about five minutes of staring at the mirror and watching the alignment of my hips, I started to wonder if that woman was me. I also realized that I look weird when I am straining my neck. It's awfully good that I am not in a position to strain my neck in front of the mirror often.

The exercises were difficult to say the least. I spent several minutes of my hour just calling it quits while the other gals pressed on with red faces. I spent another several minutes with the instructors hands on my hips, shoulders, legs, and head correcting everything.

And I started wondering- how does the instructor know? Really? This is a method that was concocted by one woman... how does the original creator know? Turns out shes a Kienesologist, so that lends cred to the correct position. Also, when the instructor corrected me, it felt harder, so there's that. They focus on micromovements. Micromovements?

I couldn't find much on micromovements, but I can tell you my soreness was different today. I don't know how to explain it, but my "muscles under muscles" feel sore.... sore in a good way. I think the Dailey Method would be a great way to gain posture, balance, flexibility, and work muscles you're not used to- just like they say they would.

The instructor was kind. The women taking the class were not. I can see why. Doing that multiple times a week would make me bitchy too. It was hard work.

I'd give this a NO F'ING way, but I think it's because it was so difficult. I might try a different barre (no trademark) and see how I feel about it. Maybe something where I can turn off the mirror intensity. PS: The inner ballerina was not satisfied. She hardly did one plie, no pirouttes!

Attention Barre trainers... if you're going to make the girls go through all this pain, at least give them a pirouette at the end! 

 This is definitely not a knock on the Dailey Method. Just as of today, it's not for me. I know I would start making excuses immediately after signing up for a year long membership. Or if I continued with Class Pass, this is one I'd be cancelling constantly. It's tough. I'm a marshmallow. What can I say?

 Off to find some ballet shoes so I can pretend more convincingly. Maybe a rat costume might help.






Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Hey.... Whatever Works, Right?

What's one thing Spin class is lacking? Sensual videos? Massage? Champagne? Adam Levine's butt? My Friday night R Rated spin class had all that and more! When I saw this class on ClassPass, I signed up immediately... on Monday.... and I am so glad I did, because this "Adult Only" class was full. Not one bicycle remained open. The class was 100% female; 90% age 30+ spinners. When I walked in, the owner greeted me, knowing who I was, which meant I was the only lucky ClassPasser who got a golden ticket to the show. She warned me that this class was closer to rated X than rated R. It surprised me, but I was okay with it. One spinner assured me it was not X, and that I would be fine. Everyone prepped their bike, the ladies were jovial and excited. The owner whispered to the cyclist next to me "we should have had the booze before the class." She made sure everyone was good, and hopped on her bike letting us know that the class was basically a video class, but ...

Yin and Nidra Yoga- Stretching, Focus, Farting and Crystals

This has officially been the worst month all year, and it just started! Let's call it the worst rolling month. In drought stricken California, it's raining in my neck of the woods. My father passed away two weeks ago. Although it's a complicated situation and a long time coming, his passing still invokes a myriad of painful emotions. Prior to his passing, I was sick. I recovered. I got sick with strep this week in Des Moines. Not that travel to Des Moines was awful; it was fun. However, when you already have all the above going on, it is an uncomfortable blur punctuated by a fever and chills. Last night, my poor little Lula, my six year old Chihuahua started having severely labored breathing. I already knew she is experiencing heart disease, which is common in her breed, but I was assured that it was just fine with medications. Last night it wasn't. I couldn't find an emergency hospital that I trusted. Instead, I waited and stayed up until this morning and made ...

ClassPass Review

As I am almost through my month of ClassPass, I thought it would be a great time to review this service and let you know the good, bad and ugly. Well, there's nothing really ugly about it- it's a beautiful app. It's easy to use, and overall gives you so much access to fitness options you'd otherwise have to spend a ton of money and effort on seeking out, it's a win in general. However, there are some critical things you should know.  NYT ClassPass Article I was admittedly enamored with the app (also can use via PC)  at first. However, as I used it, I realized that while it's a interesting concept, it may not be viable long term for me. In case you haven't picked it up, I live in the Sacramento area, and ClassPass is currently priced at $79 per month. I have read that in other cities like NYC the price has gone from $99 to $125. I imagine it's only a matter of time until it increases in this area.  ClassPass is a service that charges a monthly fee...